7 Surprisingly Simple Tasks That One Should Have to Pass a Test to Perform
1. Using your car alarm. If you are too stupid to figure it out, don’t use it. This means you to all my neighbors who seem to set off more car alarms than any other populous on the planet.
2. Driving anything larger than a Honda Civic. If you cannot park it between the lines, stay in your lane or see well enough to avoid plowing into other cars on the road, take it back and get a sedan. Next time I can’t get my kids into their car seats because you are parked on/over the line, I will pop your tires Ms. White Minivan in the assigned spot next to mine.
3. Checking out at the grocery store. Get with it people, you will have to pay at some point in time, so do us all a favor and at least know where your wallet is when the time comes. Corollary to this is: writing checks. If you still use this archaic form of payment start filing the damn thing out before everything is rung up and bagged. Just please do this so the 35 people behind you don’t form a mob and kill you.
4. Using stop lights. Yes, right on red is permitted, but it is optional, not required and certainly not your guaranteed right. If there are other cars on the road, or, yes it does happen, pedestrians in the crosswalk feel free to at least consider pausing before you blast on around the turn.
5. Data entry- see my post on TRICARE…enough said.
6. Ordering in restaurants. The menu is there, you should read it. Please do not act surprised when you have to “choose two sides” or when you discover that the Shrimp in Avocado Peanut Sauce contains shellfish, avocados and tree nuts, all being allergens for you.
7. Interacting with me. I have no tolerance for people, and their general hopelessness, whatsoever.
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