18 April 2010

Because Sometimes Life Reminds You Just How Lucky You Are

This post is about something that really got under my skin…it is pretty whiny and of a personal nature, but hey it is my space so here we go.

In short I do not spend a lot of time dwelling on the bad, as in scary as hell, parts of being a military spouse.  This is due to a 50/50 split between being a cold-heated-snake who can just ignore those parts of headline news, and the fact that not thinking about it all is a great defense mechanism.  I think if I gave real though to just what I pack DH off to do on a daily basis, it might crush me and I have plenty of neurosis without needing to add that one to the list.

Now imagine when this broke, and it all hit a bit close to home.  In  summary a Navy E-2C Hawkeye crashed into the North Arabian Sea, three of the four crew members were located, the fourth remains missing and is now assumed dead.   That fourth crew member: a classmate of my DH’s.  The co-pilot, the last to evacuate when the time came, a class behind him.

Yup, there you have it.  Two guys who went to the same school, took the same classes, went on the same summer tours, guys who for all accounts were on identical career tracks.  At some point in time their paths diverged, my DH heading into the nuclear field and then off to drive submarines, and this fallen hero off to fly planes in war zones.   It just boggles the mind that our family was only a few critical steps away from being an aviation family where the risks are so much greater.

I guess it just makes me a bit more thankful that the universe brought us to the submarine fleet and for the relative safety that position provides.  I have now experienced, even if only briefly, what so many other spouses must feel all day every day, and I am not too good to say “thank the powers that be, it doesn’t have to be me.”

With that uncharacteristic bit of sentimentality off my chest, maybe now I can let it go.  Tomorrow I can go back to being a snark machine while enjoying the slight major denial that makes it all so much easier.


Alicen said...

I know how you feel! The only thing that kept Brian from aviation was his blindness. There are many times I have been reminded that being under the ocean is much safer than many other things he could have ended up doing. While the deployments suck because they really are out of contact I feel better knowing they are out of contact to be undetectable which means theoretically they are safer. I'm sorry it hit quite close to home for you guys, thankfully we haven't had anything that close to home...yet!

Heidi Maxwell said...

Hugs and Bugs from Montana. That must just make your head swim to have something like this happen. Send loves to your man. And tell him to do his job good so he comes home safe. Loves, Heids

ABDPBT said...

My brother was on a frigate (aka "missle sponge") in the Persian Gulf when the U.S.S. Cole was bombed. I remember taking "comfort" in the fact that he'd soon be moving to a carrier, and that there weren't really many things in the world capable of sinking a tanker.

I cannot imagine having that feeling all of the time. You are a strong woman, and you don't have to hide it!

Kerry said...

Yikes. I agree: you are a strong woman. I couldn't do it. I get nervous when my husband is driving home in a snowstorm...I can't imagine being a military spouse.