24 February 2011

More Sleep Drama Llamas

Yet again I am not sleeping. 

I am not sleeping because my kid is not sleeping. 

The problem is seemingly no big deal, but it has morphed into a huge deal.  Basically Bitz wakes up at night and cries for me.  All it generally takes is a quick tuck-in, a few soothing words and the locating of "Wa-Wa" her beloved lovie.  Seems like a small thing, only takes a few minutes, but (and there is always a "but") this happens anywhere from 1 to 362 times a night.   There is no discernible pattern so every night I drift off to sleep not knowing if I will sleep through or spend 80% of my night trekking to and from her room. (I should add here that the kid is not a fan of co-sleeping.  Even as a newborn she would fuss until put in her bassinet to stretch out and sleep.  Believe me, if bringing her in with me would solve this, I would be all over that.) Add in that only Mom will do and I am starting to feel a little, shall we say...frayed at the edges.  I am cranky, short with the kids and I can feel the depression/anxiety creeping in at the corners. 

Resolving the issue should just be a matter of letting her work it out a few times and moving on.  This is problematic on two levels.
  1. It is way easier to just tuck her back in than to solve the problem long-term.  It might take quite a while and few nights to get her to self-sooth and sleep through, but it only takes three minutes to just tuck her back in and be snuggled back up with Chris enjoying the quiet of the night.  That is the dirty little secret of people who are anti-CIO.  It is always easier, at any given point in time, to not have that fight.  The hitch is that this is not, for us anyway, an appropriate long-term solution because the seedy underbelly of how easy this may be at that monent is that no one, not Bitz, not me, no one, is getting any real sleep. (Chris asked if I could even remember the last time I made it through a full sleep cycle in peace...the answer was a resounding "no.")
  2. I am not sure how I feel about using CIO in this situation. I think it is one thing to let a kid work it out when their only problem is that they are tired and pissed that they have to sleep.  A kid waking up in the night is a whole other can of worms.   In sharp contrast to the propagandized version of CIO where you just drop the kid in bed whenever you feel like it and let them cry to exhaustion,  the key to any CIO method is knowing your kid, and their cues, well enough to make the tough call of when to walk away.  At 3am that call is hard to make.   It is one thing to enforce naps and bed time, it is another to gamble that she is just mad and not scared/poopy/in pain etc. 
So, what is a tired mom to do?  I think we will try a modified CIO in that when she wakes I will give her five minutes.  That is enough time for her to realize it is all fine, locate Wa-Wa/Twilight Ladybug and to self-soothe, but not so long as to leave her there in a genuine crisis.  Additionally this will give me a chance to listen and see if she is doing her fussy/pissed cry or her "OMG I am dying in here please save me I had the worst dream ever" cry.  I do know the difference, it is just hard to tell when suffering the effects of being ripped from sleep in the wee hours of the morning.  

My real goal here is to get her sleeping properly at night so we can move to the toddler bed.  She now weighs 30lbs and lifting her basically from the ground over an immobile crib side is getting to be a challenge.  Additionally she is showing real interest in doing big-girl stuff like sleeping in a bed and using the potty so I really want to ride that wave of momentum while I can.   Also, I really want to sleep.  I mean I really, really want to get some freaking sleep.

Sweet dream everyone.


Ginger said...

Oh man, those are the worst. J has done that a few times, and it's...exhausting isn't even the right word.
I feel for you--hope you all get some sleep soon!