24 March 2011

Looking Good

Looking good is really hard. 

I have a meet-up with some other boat wives today and our official "Hail and Farewell" tomorrow.  Add in that Submarine Ball is in a few weeks and I desperately playing catch-up on the maintenance.   My hands are a wreck, my feet have been brutalized b the running and I pretty much had one eyebrow.  Yesterday my goals (in addition to laundry, bed making, food planning/prep/serving/cleaning up etc.) were to wax my eyebrows, file nails/toenails and slap on a coat of polish for both.  It was grueling.  Sure each of these tasks takes maybe 10 minutes to do, but squeezing them in the average day with two little kids was nearly impossible.   I did get it all done, and I look much better for it, but it never fails to remind me why I rarely look "good" and the effort that women must undergo if they do always look "good."  Now all three of us ladies could use haircuts, but that will take pretty much an entire day to orchestrate, so maybe next week.

Bloody hell, this girl-stuff is a total PITA.

Also on the "looking good" front is the weight loss.  I suspect I may have no loss, or even a little gain this week.  I am not surprised since I slacked on my measuring and tracking so yeah, let that be a lesson to me.   I am finding it depressing though.  I am not bothered as much by the change in number as I am the greater implication for the rest of my life.  I know that I fail to lose, or even gain, whenever I don't religiously weigh, measure and record every single bite I eat. 

So what does that mean for me in the long term? 

It means that I may never be able to stop doing this.  I may be a person who can never, ever, just eat and move on.  Until the day I die I will be measuring and tracking because if I don't, I will be back up to my starting weight in a matter of days.  I know that in theory people eventually learn how to eyeball measurements and balance it all out without writing it down, but I think the fact that I was tipping the scales at almost 200 pounds with no upper limit in sight clearly means that I am not one of those people.  I did not get there because I am able to eyeball serving sizes and moderate my eating well.  As my friends leader put it "none of us are here because we love veggies and can easily pass up a cupcake."  I am a person who will have to working the program for the rest of my life and this awareness makes it very hard to get over these setbacks.  I will do it, and it will be fine, but I will have to be doing it and that is somewhat not-fine. 

On the upside I may need to buy a new dress since the dress that I was hoping to fit into for the event is now hopelessly too big...at least I have that victory to carry me through the "dark times" of fighting for those ounces.

I will look good eventually.  I am not sure how, but I will.  Maybe that idea is just enough for now.  That and the fact that I can fucking sprint like a bad-ass now.  I may never be able to resist a cookies, but I can sure as hell outrun them now!


Alicen said...

Real life sucks sometimes!!

I will say you have inspired me to "attempt" to look good. My eyebrows are a mess and toes could use a nice polish. I did manage to clean up pretty well for the wedding but I didn't get those pesky eyebrows tidy and only 1 coat of polish got on the toes. I did get a couple "wows" so that felt good, I guess it makes a bigger impact when all they ever see you in are jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes! Oh and speaking of haircut, I haven't got one in 14 months...I think it may be time, even just for a trim.

Remember the weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. Week to week matters but not as much as longer term. Like you said earlier as long as your trending down you are getting closer to your goal. Being and staying healthy sucks sometimes but since I think it'd be cool to live to 100 I need to get (and stay) on it! Now the staying on is my problem but I have started again this week since, for now, the illnesses seem to be gone and there is no more traveling for a couple months. I've done great this week so far and am proud but since my problem is consistency I'm still not convinced yet. I do want to thank you for enlightening me to the fact of Excerise Tv, I'm hooked!! The last chance work out sucked ass last night and my whole body is letting me know it. Was gonna run today but don't think my legs can do it so I think I'll do some yoga instead.

Just keep it up and try not to get discouraged too much, your doing great!