We went to NY this past weekend for my SIL's bridal shower. My sentiments on showers/registries in general aside, it was a great party and we had a blast. I got to see some people, both friends and family, that I have not seen in a few years and many of them had their kids there too. It was a wonderful day spent in great company, but there was one odd thing. I know other bloggers have blogged this to death, but I was amazed at how many people, like at least 60% asked me if we were going to "try for the boy."
Now, I will apply the disclaimer that I can kind of get the question: "are you having any more kids?" For whatever reason when your youngest hits two the question starts rolling around. It is very rude and invasive since you are basically asking relative strangers "so, when are you all going to be having unprotected sex again?" but whatever. However, the idea that one in my shoes would only be trying again so as to have a boy boggles the mind. Do people really still do that? Just have as many kids it takes to get the "preferred" gender? Do men really feel they must have a male heir like this is The Tudors? Are women really willing to be a pregnant that often just to appease some social construct that no man is complete without a son, or that no woman is complete without a daughter? I know it has been discussed to death, but I really just don't understand.
Now, here is where I make a terrible confession: I have zero interest in raising little boys. I enjoy the company of boys, I love the sons of my friends as if they were my own. Had one of my children been a boy, we would have been thrilled because all children are a blessing. But given the choice, I am pretty happy raising a house of girls.
I find that being a mom to girls allows me much more flexibility. An unfortunate side-effect of the societal idea that boys are somehow preferred seems to be that boys absolutely, unequivocally, must be true boys, wear only boy stuff and do only boy things. When my girls play rugby in the backyard I am "progressive," but when a boy goes to dance class eyebrows are raised. I shop for my girls in the boys section all the time, but a pink polo shirt or (le gasp) a doll stroller for a little boy is just not as acceptable. Frankly, I just could not put up with the gender-role BS that seems to go along with parenting boys. Plus, now I can avoid the whole circumcision drama llama and for that, I thank all that is sacred.
There I said it. I am not made of the right stuff to parent boys and the universe gave me the kids that were right for me.
PS We had a vasectomy so yeah, if we have a third baby someone will have some explaining to do. (Mr. Urologist, I am looking at you because goddess knows I barely have enough hours in the day for current family...a lover is kind of out of the question. Ha, it is funny because it is so true...)