06 September 2011

You Know You Are A Navy-Wife When...

...the doctor in the ER says he wants to admit you and you look at your watch thinking "it is 5am, Chris is already late for work so yeah, that is not really going to work for me."  

To get into a major over-share here, I had a raging UTI  that got so uncomfortable that I finally had to give it up and seek medical attention.  Of course it is the middle of the night on a holiday weekend so off to the local ER I go.  The triage nurse takes one look at my "sample" (does trying to pee in a cup ever get old?  I think not.) and directs me straight back to the exam rooms and puts a giant orange RUSH sticker on my labs.  It is right about now that my feeling foreboding kicks in.

Apparently I not only have some kind of pee infection, but it is a super special kind of cystitis and it is serious business. The questions start coming pretty fast now:

"How did you drive yourself here?"

"Do you need some pain killers? We can prescribe narcotics."

"Do you think you have kidney stones?"

Just OMG, who needs this stress!  I was pretty confused since I was not feeling that sick except the whole peeing fire thing.  Interesting side note: this is the third time in two years that medical professionals have been surprised to see me up and operating without pharmaceutical grade pain killers.  I consider myself a total wuss when it comes to pain so this makes me very curious.  Maybe I am actually some kind of superhero with an odd resistance to illness induced pain? Who knows.

Anyway, they wanted to admit me for fluids and monitoring, but I managed to talk the doc down off that ledge. Dude, I do not have time for this shit.  Chris has work, he leaves "soon" so things are crazy, I have two kids to care for and my SILs wedding is this weekend. If my body thinks it is going to torture me with this crap, it has another think coming.   I brokered a deal where I would drink like 600 gallons of fluids, take it easy, take what may be a borderline overdose of antibiotics and  take these crazy "antispasmodic" pills. 

It is now a day later and I am fine.  I feel great, the antibiotics are working and we are back to our usual lives none the worse for wear. Even though I feel better, I am milking this for all it is worth and swearing off housework until Friday.  It is nice, but I can really live without this excitement.  Truly. 

PS The magic pills make me pee bright, and I mean full on visible from space, orange.  They will also make my tears orange.  The antibiotics also make my skin hyper-sensitive to the sun.  So now I can't go in the sun and I cry orange.  I am a mother-effing TANG filled vampire! Life is good. 

2 comments:

ChiGirl said...

Tang filled vampire--love it!! I would totally milk it too especially considering you powered through when it hurt the most.

Alicen said...

You poor thing! Thankful for you that it wasn't a drawn out recovery. Once your up to full steam again give me a call and we'll hit up the park or Panera...or whatever.