19 November 2011

Join The Club

This post was going to be all "WTF is wrong with me and my kids."  I am in a serious funk. The kind of funk that makes me not like my kids and husband very much.  The kind of funk that makes it very hard to be my best self.  Is it the time change?  The weather?  The pre-holiday lull?  I have no idea.  I do know, however, that I am not alone.

This post at All &Sundry perfectly describes my life here.  The Ramble Ramble household is playing this game too.  I think we can best sum it up with the words of Liz Lemon: "Everything is just the worst."  It is completely irrational but if I have to mop up one more spill, fold one more bit of laundry or deal with one more crying kid, I will be sprinting for the deep end as fast as my (most likely unbathed) legs can carry me.  I do not like myself when I am this way, but it seems like I just can't stop.

The week was rough.  Doctor's appointments, the gutter debacle, illness, shitty weather and all the general fandango that keeping this place going entails.  Liz has developed some kind of issue where (seemingly) if she is awake she is crying about something.  Charlie is just being a total menace.  Chris is skating on very thin ice thanks to his own funk.* The week wrapped up with me outside on Friday afternoon doing the yardwork, alone yet again, in the setting sun.  That is right.  It was was 2:35 in the afternoon and the sun is glaring right in my eyes because it is fucking setting.  Like most people have not even had lunch yet and there goes the daylight.  Green goddess on a cracker, no wonder we are all screwed up.

Today I got a break.  I finished the yard work, with some assistance.  I got to shower alone and then enjoyed a nice afternoon out with just Charlotte.  When separated my children are lovely.  I spent the afternoon cutting out various fabric bits for holiday crafts and now the kids are in bed and Chris is off to get Indian food.  I think I can see the other side of this.  I think I can make it.

*In his defense he is working through some serious post hell-boat decompressing and only just this week got assigned actual work to do.  Of course, I can't feel happy for him because all  can think "Hoo-fucking-ray for you.  You get bored and in a funk and tah-dah, you get a new awesome job.  I get bored and in a funk and...oh wait.  Still here. Still doing the same old crap."


Alicen said...

I'm right there with you! For the past 2 weeks I've been slipping down that slope. As we discussed I have not been feeling great and the running has been TERRIBLE which in turn makes me feel awful. I majorly think the lack of daylight and cold does not help matters. Here's to us all getting out of this funk! I. am. so. DONE.

Kathleen said...

I am also in your club, Grump Grump Grump. Damn time change. It must be the time change. Oh please let it pass.