So all I want for Yule is:
- A day where I can shower, or better yet pee, without anyone smashing on the door and screeching hysterically.
- A day where I can drive without it sounding like a pack of meth addicted howler monkeys** are in my backseat.
- A day where nothing crashes to the floor. No one drops anything, careens into anything or spills anything all over.
- A day where no one falls down. For no reason.
- A day where I sleep until I wake up, not just until the whining begins.
- A day where I can run without having to chose between 100 pounds of jogger, 45 pounds of jogger or treadmill.
- A day where I can walk into a room in my house, just one single room, and not see a swath of destruction left behind by my kids or husband.
- Did I already say silence? Well let me put that one out there again. Silence.
*Yeah, did you see that? Somehow while driving a desk he still manages to be at sea with perfect timing to ruin most of our holiday plans. So...is he hopeless and needs to be removed from service immediately OR is he the only person in the world who can go out and do this job? Please, for the sweet love of all that is holy pick one. I am dying here.
**Monkeys? Monkies? Dammit, both spellings look super stupid.