28 February 2013

Sometimes a "Break" is Nice...

...even if it from the one you love.

Chris still travels roughly one week a month, or he does now at any rate.  Come the sequester his hours will get cut under furlough (a much better choice than just getting laid off mind you) and certainly he will not be granted the money or time to take care of his client base, but whatever, I am sure Congress knows what it is doing...sorry, I do digress.  The point is that a few days a month, it is just us girls and honestly, I don't mind it too much.

Having Chris around is wonderful and the novelty of this "normal" life may never wear off, but we are still very independent people.  We have our own hobbies, our own groups of friends and we often just enjoy doing our own thing.  Combine our introverted tendencies with the near constant emotional/mental/physical demands of two small kids and I got to tell you; I like the occasional night to myself.  I can get the kids to bed since they are not dying to stay up with me the way they are with Daddy and then just chill.  If I want to sew, or read a book for four hours, or knit and watch Dr.Who it doesn't matter.  I am not sacrificing partner time to indulge my interests.  While Chris would never make me feel guilty for spending my limited free time enjoying my hobbies, there is always that notion that we should be spending that time together building a dream marriage...or whatever.  Maybe it is the "damaged goods" part of our relationship left over from when the time together was so sacred and cherished because there was so little of it.  Maybe I am just crazy.  Who knows?  What I do know is that I don't 100% dread him leaving, the kids are getting over their complex about him being gone (this time he will be back in 4 sleeps, not 100 sleeps!) and the homecomings are just as sweet. 

In a nutshell I am (oddly) grateful for this travel time because it makes me appreciate the new lifestyle that much more.  The travel is a nice break, not a dreaded 6-8 month deployment.  The novelty of it being "girl time" is fresh and exciting each month, yet when it starts to get old Daddy comes home.  Lastly, we can still talk every day.  We still get to share our daily lives even when he is out of town instead of enjoying 30 straight days of radio silence every time he kicks off the pier. Even today, when getting my RI license took two trips to two separate DMVs, the house had to be cleaned, the kids were awful at the fabric store, our take-out order was messed up causing a full blown tantrum from Liz and the NetFlix is losing its mind about the internet connection (#firstworldproblems) it is all just fine.  It is fine because I can still rant about it to Chris and know that he will be home tomorrow. 

Now "Daddy is traveling" means "see you Friday" not "See you in June."  "Talk to you later" means "after dinner" not "when/if we pull into port if we are allowed to use our cell phones and I can get five minutes off duty." Kind of puts it all in perspective.