24 May 2013

Marvel Fangirling At Home

I am so very into the whole Avengers franchise right now.  I confess, my exposure is mostly the movies because I (personally) do not enjoy the comic book/graphic novel format for my reading.  I know I just lost lots of geek-cred there, but hey, you like what you like, no harm in that.  In geek-dom there are theoretically  no rules about how you have to enjoy the material, as long as you enjoy it.

The odd secondary obsession is spending way too much mental energy deciding which Avenger I would date. That seems like a totally useful and appropriate use of my time.  Right?  Let's assume for funsies that we are looking for fantasy SO material here.

Hawkeye?  He is a superhero who gets his status just be being so damn good at his job.  No fancy technology, no radiological incidents, no alien DNA.  Just plain old talented.

Stark/IronMan is cool, and oh so smart, but the ego wears thin.  The money is nice, but the social agenda his lifestyle requires makes my not-so-inner introvert cringe.

Banner/Hulk is also really smart (goddess knows I have a thing for smart men...as "the woman" says "smart is the new sexy"), but the whole "other guy" issue will become just that. An issue. 

Black Widow?  Very nice, perfect strong female character if your idea of strong female character is defined purely by the hetero-normative male gaze.  I am not personally in the market for a female SO, but this great option exists.

Captain America is a hottie, and I do dig the whole military man thing (I am not too evolved for that as illustrated by how much I liked seeing Chris looking all "Jarhead" in his camos), but one can only be a self-righteous patriot for so long before you earn a kick in the face.

Thor?  Sure, he is literally a god, but talk about your long distance relationships.  Also, he comes with serious family baggage, like a brother who is constantly trying to end the world.  On the upside, I do already consider myself a goddess, so the title would be a plus.

At the end of the day, I like my men, even the superhero ones, to just be really great at their jobs.   So, while I may like Hawkeye the best of the Avengers, there is no reality in which I don't wind up actually married to Agent Phil Coulson.  Smart and funny, but very literal and very married to his job.  In my heart of hearts, while being married to a superhero might be nice, I know I would wind up with the stable guy who does the heavy lifting with none of the fanfare or recognition.

On the upside, I am pretty much already married to an Agent Coulson. Dark suits? Check.  DoD job that we don't really get to talk about? Check.  Smart, sarcastic and witty? Check. Constant travel to do odd jobs for the government? Check.  Give Chris a S.H.I.E.L.D. badge and we are there.  So that is awesome, I am already married to my favorite geek-culture icon.  Go me.