07 March 2014

February Was The Longest Month

Having been absent a month I am here to say: "in short, not dead."

February was a long hard month for us. Chris traveled like 80% of the month and when he wasn't traveling he was at work late (like,12 hour days late). While this is nothing with which I have not been challenged before, it did not go well. Long story short, I was very tired, very stressed and feeling very put-upon by the fact that Chris took no responsibility for maintaining his personal life, thus leaving the bulk of that up to me. I understand that he has to work, but when I can't even shower alone, it is hard for me to remain calm when he has missed dinner, without calling, for the third time this week. Needless to say it threw into sharp contrast the fact that for me even doing something as simple as getting on the treadmill takes hours of planning and prep, yet if he has to fly half-way around the world for a week, all he does is call travel and book a ticket. When it was 3 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon and Chris needed to pack for no less than three back-to-back trips with no clue that he only had two clean dress shirts in his closet....well, something in me snapped. This situation was bad for me (not to mention completely disprespectful of all I do for this family), bad for the kids who were spiraling into intolerable behavoir patterns and bad for Chris whose life outside of work was basically in shambles. There is now a new Sheriff in town. The kids have chores and AM/PM routines so I dont have to make myself crazy. Chris has a scheduled check-in at 15:00 to tell me when he will be home. Everyone is expected to do their part as a member of this family and as a unit we are no longer assuming that all those pesky little details of life "just happen."

On the upside (which quickly became a tragic downside) we got the bathroom install project started. Things went great! In a matter of days the unfinished space went from open studs and capped drains to a fully framed, fully wired, fully plumbed space with an entire shower it in it. So amazing! Then, due to a series of events which I do not have the emotional fortitude to get into right now, things were not so amazing. This is what my garage looks like now, and while it will get fixed, and better yet fixing it is 100% "not my division," it feels more than a little overwhelming.

Needless to say, today is going to be a chilling out day. Liz and I will just relax, read books and watch movies until our brains leak out our ears. Chris has invited a bunch of people over for dinner tomorrow, assuring me that it will be "no big deal" to get the house ready when 30% of it is basically a war zone. Good news for him, he will be making sure it is "no problem" by doing his fair share of the cleaning tomorrow morning, so hey, I can table that work until I have the full participaton of my partner. It is almost like everyone will be taking responsibility for their choices! That is an idea I can get behind.