Back in September I was all excited about "having time to blog again." That was because I made the rookie mistake of not knowing that getting your second child in school doesn't free up time...it quadruples your workload. Since then it has been a non-stop deluge of things to do. Between homework, school projects, school runs, but stop runs, lunch making, laundry doing, fundraiser participating, box-top counting, LEGO club, story time...you get the idea, I have not had time to do anything of merit. Maybe more specifically I have not had time to do things I want to do, but you know how that goes when you are the default parent.
I have not been running, or reading , or knitting or blogging or anything really that might constitute progress toward some personal goals. I have managed to get the house/kids/school nonsense pretty well streamlined, but systems that work require work and well, that work doesn't do itself. I guess I just feel like I am yet again trapped. If I work out, then I have to be folding laundry after the kids go to bed which also means I can't do this other thing until after that so now, by getting on the treadmill for 30 minutes and (gasp) taking a shower, I guarantee myself the honor of working until 10pm. Add in the vague notion that I should be going back to some kind of "real" employment (as opposed to life of luxury I am living now) and I am on the verge of an existential crisis.
Hopefully though December will see some turn around. Chris will have some time off around Yule (good since his schedule has had him effectively on travel for the past three weeks with no end in sight...that is some BS) and we can have some kind of downtime by going to see relatives for a week. At least there I am not 100% responsible for ever detail of everyone's lives. Additionally I am finally getting some treatment for all the crazy hormonal stuff that has been going on. Hopefully by the new year I can cross "avoiding my own body trying to kill me all the time" off my list of daily obligations, so that will be nice. School settles down a bit in those months and maybe we can find some zen on all this nonsense.
Today I ran and blogged. Sure it means I am behind on everything else, but I did it. I took some time for me, and I am prepared to deal with the inevitably crippling fall-out. It is not a lot of progress, but it is still progress.